Tributum Newsletter #58

Hello

Festive season 2023… This time of the year means different things to different people. For some it’s a time to connect with family and friends (and for some to avoid them…), for some it’s a time of quieting down and recharging the batteries while for others it’s a time of gallivanting and visiting places. For some it’s a time of happiness, for some less so. However, what I think is common for everyone is that this is a time of reflection – on the year that was as well as the year that lies ahead.

For most I believe the year would be both Jekyll and Hide, Yin and Yan, the good the bad and the Elephant Man. The “yeahs’ and the “gotchas” mixed with the “wouldas, couldas, shouldas”.  Its your choice which ones you focus on, but remember that whatever your preference, it brings its own set of challenges. Nothing is permanent, after the storm comes the still dawn, and after the beautiful sunset the dark of night.

While it may sound that I think every silver lining has a dark cloud the reality of life is that its not easy. The joy is found in solving the problems we face. And while some problems we cannot choose, some problems we can choose to avoid. And therein lies part of making life easier I believe.  Choosing what to not make your problem, choosing what not to worry about is as important as what to worry or care about. Yes, I have read (again) “The subtle art of not giving a F%” – it’s a real book, and it is actually about caring. The message is that you should be selective what you worry and care about – you only have so many “f%” to give.  

World hunger, climate change, the war in Ukraine, Gaza, the US elections etc.– yes, its global news and in some cases very terrible, but unless it’s impacting you personally you should not continually worry about it. Especially if your teenager has suicidal tendencies or your spouse just lost their job. Care and worry about what is in your realm, the things that you can solve or get solutions for. Jordan Peterson’s Rule 6 – Set your own house in perfect order. Then only do you need, or even have the capacity, to help someone else with theirs…

By caring and worrying about too much we fill ourselves with anxiety and unnecessary stress while feeding into the “if its bleeds it leads” mentality of journalism and social media. It just fuels more guilt and anxiety until you reach the festive season, and then try and switch off for 2 weeks while wondering what to do with all your anxiety before its back to that same hamster wheel.

Whatever this festive season means for you – enjoy it. Whatever reflection you do – remember progress only required a 0.something % improvement from last year and whatever plans you make for 2024 – ensure it includes the “f%” that are really important to you.  Until 2024, keep breathing!